Part 1: Sixth Edition Loser's Loser's Index

Part 1: Sixth Edition Loser's Loser's Index

April 23, 1999

Sixth Edition will have an impact on Type II, of course. But before I consider that, I want to start with the decisions that won't. So here are all the cards that got added, left in or taken out that would never have an impact on Type II in or out of the basic set.

Removed Cards - Big Props to WotC for all of these, so I'll keep the explanations short:

Blue

AEther Storm . If this card just made your opponent pay four life instead of giving him another option, it would still be useless.

Anti-Magic Aura . The addition of true untargetability is worth about one mana added to the casting cost. This costs three and a card.

Dandan. This card is too selective and vulnerable to be worth anything outside strange matches where both players have blue decks that can't win the matchup quickly, like High Tide mirror matchups. Even then, this wasn't the best choice, and that was its best possible situation.

Dark Maze . A wall from Homelands with an ability blue can't use well. Any questions?

Drain Power . Too many decks can get rid of their mana to make this playable over Mana Short or Turnabout , expect in specialized decks like Mana Barbs.

Enervate . The only good player I ever saw using this was Jon Finkel, in a Winter Orb deck. With the new cards Ring of Gix and Twitch , who needs it? Feedback . It came three sets too late, but they got enough to pull it. Does nothing, except when it does almost nothing.

Flood . All right, it's possible this one could have some small impact, besides royally messing up limited play. But the chance of randomly hitting a deck with flying creatures and the need to tie up a ton of mana every turn kept this out of decks.

Homarid Warrior . Costs just one colored mana less than Morphling .

Krovikan Sorcerer . It's way too vulnerable for a card that nets you no extra cards, so they made Merfolk Looter , which is much better and even so almost never gets used.

Leviathan . The kids love it, but it's for the Greater Good . And don't worry; those decks have plenty of replacements.

Lifetap . No one uses Forests. If they do, this isn't your best option.

Magical Hack . There was a time when this was worth doing; that time is past. No one can afford to put hosers for the wrong color in his deck, and it isn't worth bringing in to combat your opponent's either.

Magus of the Unseen. What a concept!

Mind Bomb . Does three damage to your opponent, at best, unless you're trying to be WAY too cute, and if you are the damage isn't going to matter much. Besides, with Frantic Search out there are much better ways.

Phantasmal Forces . Not only is it 4/1 instead of a 3/3 no one plays, you pay upkeep.

Phantom Monster . At least it's 3/3 and you don't pay upkeep. But it never belonged in anything good, unable to defend well or attack well enough.

Pirate Ship. You don't pay five mana to go a-pinging.

Ray of Command. For four mana you can keep the creature.

Reef Pirates. Absolute Gray Ogre.

Sea Serpent . Too expensive for a normal 5/5 to be worth it, even without Islandhome.

Sea Spirit. Doesn't do anything to justify that huge cost.

Seasinger . Too vulnerable for a card with a one turn delay that requires a companion to work on most decks.

Soul Barrier . It would be interesting, but nothing special, if only one of those options was available. As it is, most of the time they either have the mana or can take the damage.

Updraft. Does nothing.

Zephyr Falcon . Does nothing without Stasis , which is gone.

Red

Ambush Party. Five mana for a 3/1.

Bird Maiden. Three mana for a 1 /2.

Brassclaw Orcs . Three mana for a 3/2 with a limitation. See a pattern?

Brothers of Fire . Its ability was too slow and painful to be worth using much.

Cave People . A defensive red creature, or a Grey Ogre, or a very overpriced way to get mountainwalk.

Crimson Manticore . Four mana for a 2/2 with flying and a mostly useless ability.

Dwarven Catapult . Only in rare situations is this an efficient choice, and it can't damage players.

Dwarven Soldier. 2/2s with restrictions work better.

Dwarven Warriors . This requires a blocker and a creature without much power, and when it is important it costs too much and often just dies. Errantry . +3/+0 isn't better than +2/+2, and the restriction is important.

Eternal Warrior . Another ability that costs less than one mana to build into a creature.

Fire Drake . At best it's a 2/2 flyer for 1RR, which isn't worth it.

Flare . I played 4 of these at PT:Dallas (in a deck called How to Keep an Idiot Busy) but they're too slow to work nowadays.

Game of Chaos. On average you both take one. Yeah.

Goblin War Drums . Three mana to make blocking difficult, when you could just cast another creature. Requires a blocker, a good attacker, and either no second blocker or a bunch of attackers. And then there's Invasion Plans.

Hill Giant . Only one step up from the true Gray Ogre .

Hurloon Minotaur. 2/3 for three. You can do better.

Imposing Visage . At least this might cost more than one mana to hardwire in (see Viashino Runner ), there's no good reason to bother.

Iornclaw Curse. -0/-1 and a limitation on chump blocking? Forget it. Keldon Warlord . It takes four creatures for this to be any good, five before it's an advantage. And you didn't win anyway?

Mana Clash. On average you both take two.

Mon's Goblin Raiders. Far more than 400 ways to die, and nothing to do if it lives.

Orcish Captain . There's a chance, but with Orcs there really isn't. Using this ability on itself lets you do 1.5 damage on average, once. Doesn't seem worth it.

Orcish Conscripts . Doesn't come out fast, and often won't come out at all.

Orcish Farmer . Red decks don't need to turn lands into Swamps that much.

Panic. Don't.

Primordial Ooze . Your deck is committed to basically never doing anything else if this comes out early. And too often it will run out of control soon after it becomes useful.

Smoke . One is all your really need, especially since red deals with them by killing them.

Stone Giant . The ability is almost worthless, and 3 /4 for 4 isn't worth it.

Stone Spirit. A 4/3 for five mana with a minor ability.

The Brute . Very expensive Regeneration with a minor boost in power; basically does nothing.

Wall of Stone . It's basically undamagable. But it's just a wall, and with two red in its cost who needs it?

Winds of Change . On average it should help your opponent. And it's a bad way to find cards you need.

Word of Blasting . Bury target Wall of Blossoms and do 2 damage. Not good enough.

Black.

Breeding Pit . Way too slow and expensive a way to generate 0/1s, even if it made 1/1s.

Broken Visage . Five mana to kill an attacking creature, basically.

Carrion Ants . Who has that kind of mana to spare these days?

Cursed Land. Does nothing.

Deathgrip . You have to save too much mana to make this good, especially compared to Perish.

Evil Presence. Does nothing.

Frozen Shade. Check out the new, improved version!

Funeral March . If they have another creature when you lose this one, you almost break even on this spell.

Greater Werewolf . Way too much mana for a 2/4, or even an almost 4/4.

Krovikan Fetish. Three mana for +1/+1.

Lord of the Pit . If you had a blank card not only wouldn't it hurt you, you'd cut it for something better.

Mole Worms . A land destruction spell with a one-turn delay that lets them untap the land or kill a 1/1 to undo the effect.

Murk Dwellers . If it always had the bonus you'd call it Giant Cockroach .

Necrite . A Grey Ogre or one-for-one removal, either way it isn't worth it.

Pit Scorpion . Poison may have been a neat idea, but the cards were never any good.

Plague Rats . Muscle Slivers that cost one more and are one smaller.

Sorceress Queen . It doesn't actually kill anything, although it had its uses in combat if it was less vulnerable.

The Wretched . A neat trick deck, but even with a built-in Lure it's a little expensive.

Thrull Retainer . This is an interesting enough combination of effects that every now and then a little kid can wreck someone with it. But it's pretty bad.

Torture. A really expensive form of creature removal.

Touch of Death . Does almost nothing. Even with Necropotence it's just Inspiration.

Vampire Bats . Too mana intensive to be that fast. Only real use is beating Ensnaring Bridge.

Wall of Bone . Wall of Souls is so much better.

Warp Artifact. Does nothing.

Weakness. Sicken without cycling.

Xenic Poltergeist . Funny effect, but it doesn't belong in the decks where it makes decent sized creatures. Plus it's too expensive and vulnerable.

Green

An-Havva Constable . Power from creatures in play is a curiosity; toughness isn't worth much, because they kill the other creatures first. And it costs one mana too much.

Aspect of Wolf . Blanchwood Armor costs one more and does double that.

Aurochs . If there are two, they're Argothian Swines when attacking. Fun.

Carapace . Just slightly worse than Thrull Retainer . No power boost is really bad.

Chub Toad . A 3/3 for 3 mana wouldn't be so crazy. One that takes one to kill and does one to players is.

Cockatrice . A creature that costs five should destroy everything in combat anyway.

Craw Giant. It's not even that unkillable.

Craw Wurm . And you call this Classic Edition? Well, I guess never getting played isn't a bad excuse.

Durkwood Boars . You can get that for three with echo and trample.

Foxfire . Do you get the feeling that all the three-cost cantrips in Ice Age would cost one or two mana if they were in Urza's Destiny?

Hungry Mist . Six power for four mana is worth thinking about, but Citanul Centaurs is a much better version of this, which can easily be killed and ties up your mana.

Instill Energy . The game has moved on, and the decks that used to run this card have better things to do.

Ironroot Treefolk . They've tried several slight upgrades of this, and they're still bad cards.

Ley Druid . This is too slow for the engine decks that would want it.

Living Artifact . If they have an artifact, you can gain one life a turn, probably. Not enough.

Scryb Sprites . Green creatures that cost one mana have a lot of really nice abilities. Flying doesn't cut it anymore.

Shrink . One creature that isn't really really big deals no damage this turn. And why don't you draw a card?

Stampede . It may cost less, but it doesn't do what Overrun does at all.

Tarpan . One life isn't the same as destroying enchantments or even cycling.

Venom . This requires blocking and probably results in a bad trade even when it does anything.

Wall of Brambles . Albino Troll is cheaper, more powerful, and (gasp) it can attack.

Wanderlust . Does nothing. Basically, any three-cost enchantment on a permanent that just does one damage is ignorable, in case "Does Nothing" wasn't good enough earlier.

War Mammoth . Again, its obscelesence can be seen by comparing it to Cradle Guard.

Winter Blast . Neither doing two damage to flyers, which won't kill the real problems, or getting through on one turn justifies a card.

Wolverine Pack . Interesting in a different color, in green its competition is way too tough.

White

Abbey Gargoyles . If you're going to give out protection, give it to creatures that need it.

Akron Legionnaire . This card comes from the era that believed that costing eight mana wasn't enough of a drawback for an 8/4. Can you believe I used to use two of these in a Balance deck, and they worked?

Alabaster Potion . This is too expensive to save creatures with and takes way too much mana to give you significant life.

Angry Mob . It's sort of like Karma , except you can kill it.

Armor of Faith. One very small step for a creature.

Aysen Bureaucrats . If you want a Ring, pay for a Ring. This won't solve your real problems.

Benalish Hero . Banding is a fine ability, but Soul Warden and Mother of Runes have better ones.

Blessed Wine. Does absolutely nothing.

Brainwash . Doesn't even stop one creature from attacking if its controller cares.

Circle of Protection: Artifacts . I'd really like to hear the designer of this one explain why the activation cost on this one is 2.

Death Ward . At best it saves one card, and it may do nothing but force you to save mana and gum up your deck.

Eye for an Eye . At its best, it's a very poor and not damage-oriented person's Fork.

Heal. Does nothing much.

Hipparion . Might have had slight use as a defensive creature if it didn't have a blocking restriction.

Holy Strength . For one more you can get the recurring version. And it's one Brilliant Halo.

Icatian Phalanx . The four was supposed to be a three in the casting cost. Fallen Empires.

Icatian Scout . The effect should be just tap, and even then it wouldn't stand up to the Soul Warden or Mother of Runes .

Ivory Guardians . You wouldn't really want this against red, at least not modern red. And the Guardian deck wasn't the edition's big hit.

Justice. Unlike other ways to beat red, after you play Justice you still have to make sure you're higher on life somehow or they'll kill you anyway.

Kjeldoran Skycaptain . Flying, banding and first strike don't come close to making up for this being a 2/2 for 4W.

Mesa Pegasus . I did see someone playing a Coat of Arms Pegasus deck at GP: Vienna. But banding doesn't do quite enough for this card.

Pearled Unicorn. Absolute Gray Ogre.

Pikemen . Creature decks need to mount pressure quickly, and the old white ability creatures can't do that.

Prismatic Ward . If nothing else, Ward of Lights and Flickering Ward make this look really silly.

Repentant Blacksmith . Disciple of Law cycles.

Righteousness . Ever notice how very few people use Might of Oaks when they're blocking? At any rate, Smite does the job better.

Sacred Boon . Saving a creature from damage isn't something that even happens every game, and when it does this doesn't give enough of an advantage.

Seraph. Seven mana for a 4/4 is a little much.

Serra Bestiary . Creature removal that costs two mana a turn for the game. Not a good deal.

Serra Paladin . These abilities are warm nothings given the casting cost.

Shield Barer. Does what it does, which isn't much.

Shield Wall. A very poor man's Remedy.

Truce . Take your opponent out of this card, and it's interesting. With him in the picture, why bother?

Artifacts

Amulet of Kroog . Endoskeleton prevents three.

Ashnod's Transmogrant . A curiosity when used to make creatures vulnerable to artifact effects. Just bad if used to pump them.

Barl's Cage . This costs too much mana to lock up a real creature deck, especially with the turn delay before you can use it early on.

Battering Ram . Destroys walls that block it. Other than that, a 1/1 bander. Who needs this?

Clay Statue . Why give a regenerating artifact enough toughness to live long enough for you to untap or to withstand toughness reducers?

Clockwork Steed . This creature can average a 2/3 for about one mana a turn. And it costs 4.

Coral Helm . The idea is interesting, but the activation cost is too high to be threatening.

Crown of the Ages . This used to be good - back in the days when 'Infinite Combination' was something special.

Diabolic Machine . Seven mana is too much to pay for a creature that isn't even a very quick finisher or good defender.

Elkin Bottle . Mark Justice played one at PT1 to show it wasn't useless. It wasn't then. It is now.

Feroz's Ban . I'm not even sure a real ban would be worth paying 6.

Guantlets of Chaos. A really cool idea, but paying 10 mana is something decks can't afford anymore.

Grapeshot Catapult . Four mana for a 2/3 with a minor ability.

Helm of Chatzuk . Not as bad as it looks. But it looks really, really bad. Gives banding.

Jandor's Saddlebags . Voltaic Key is a good example of what these cards should look like.

Joven's Tools . Lose the activation cost and it's still way too expensive for a card that requires (would be) blocking. See Bedlam for an example of a better but still not used card.

Obelisk of Undoing . Six mana is too much for this ability, given cards like Tradewind Rider and Erratic Portal .

Serpent Generator . If it just generated 2/3s it would be a ton better and still not be worth playing.

Shapeshifter. A lot of options, all overpriced.

Tawnos's Weaponry . A lot of mana for +1/+1, even if it is flexible.

The Hive . Another creature generator that can't hold a candle to the unused Volrath's Laboratory.

Time Bomb . By the time this really is the bomb, the game tends to be over.

Urza's Avenger . Six mana is too much, even with these options. Maybe if the first ability came free.

Wall of Spears. Not even good as Walls go.

Land

Bottomless Vault . It takes four turns for this to be any good at all, and you know what? It's still not that good.

Dwarven Hold . You don't even have a good reason to have that much red mana.

Hollow Trees. Even less reason to have that much green.

Icatian Store . The moneychangers are having a going out of business sale.

Sand Silos . If you keep it open, you can't add counters. Not even worth it after the four turns.

Part two: will be the ones that made it into Classic that will never impact Type II.

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